Men are often capable of greater things than they perform. They are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent.
-Unknown-
A weekend out to the Barrier Reef
Paula's birthday present is a three day sail to the Barrier Reef and to my favourite spot, Upolu Cay. The wind is not good for anchoring but we anchor anyway, as close as possible to the sand cay. The day is beautiful, the wind calms down, my stove makes cooking almost a pleasure and the fridge is full of ice cold drinks. Aliisa sits in shallow water, Paula and I play backgammon in the cockpit and David Gray in the stereo. A few priceless moments.
The confusion about our relationship continues. Together forever or not together. Who knows. Time will show. We've broken up and got back together, I think three times in the last 18 months.
In the afternoon I calculate the tides to see if we can stay where we are. I like anchoring as close as possible in shallow water. I work out that that there should be about 10cm under the keel at low tide. Yeah, we'll be right. At midnight the anchor chain is stretching in increasing wind and a one meter swell is bouncing the boat up and down. The sand cay and coral is right behind us. I have three hours before low tide. Time to make a decision. Stay or move. Both options are unpleasent in the moonles night.
I decide to move the boat up before it's too late. I don't usually worry too much about touching the bottom, but when there is a one meter swell the touching becomes more like...pounding. The exercise is not pleasent. Tired, in dark, close to corals, this could easily turn into a disaster.
I'm too worried about the boat turning off the wind when the anchor comes up and drifting onto coral before I have time to run from the anchor back to the helm. I pull the anchor chain only half way up and then drive slowly into deeper water dragging it behind. We move from a depth of 1,6m to a depth of 1,8m and pick up a dive boat mooring. Aliisa bounces up and down through the night.
I lie in bed terrified. I'm not worried about our current situation, which is safe. I'm hit by an overwhelming fear of executing my plan. My mind fills up with images of abandoning ship, falling overboard, getting shipwrecked, starving to death in a life raft, serious injuries, fierce storms and disasters caused by incompetence, tiredness, lack of equipment or experience. I'm wide awake in the midst of my nightmares. Paula has very little experience, and I feel that my skills in handling a stressful situation is limited. One reason I'm telling the whole world about my voyage plan is to force me to do it. It is too easy to find an excuse to stay in Cairns, but a lot harder when the world is waiting for you to follow up your promise.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. That's courage.
Until next time. Lauri G.
This world will always have dangers for those who fear.
-Bernard Shaw-
Paula is enjoying her Tequila Sunrise at sunrise 28 October. Yes, she's a Scorpio. On the right, a freshly painted backgammon board on the cockpit seat is now replacing the old footprints*. With magnetic pieces (She's made of steel) we should be able to have a game in any weather.
