I have had just about all I can take of myself.
- S. N. Behrman -


Bastards.

Idiots.

Wankers.

A fucking flock of sheep they are.

Evolution is going backwards.

We've all been had.

- Kapitan Peedoff -

Kapitan Peedoff's Diary

Hello. I am Kapitan and I am not very happy about a lot of things. Sometimes I get very frustrated and as part of my on-going therapy, I am going to vent off my problems here. If no anger is being added, it means that I'm feeling quite fine and not very angry about anything. That's good. If more anger is being added, I'm venting it off. That's good too. You see, it's all good, after all.

One of the great challenges that we face throughout our lives
is finding a decent, working pen when you need one.
- Kapitan Peedoff -



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Future topics:

Talking with women, basics: Drop down conversation. Duck and weave conversation.

The English "Internet"

So I took a trip to the British Isles recently. You see, before retiring, I used to work as a Kapitan for the merchant navy and I have a few old mates there, lying under the grass in the foggy green hills, under a great gray gravestone. Being a modern Kapitan, I brought along my portable computer. I was confident that the Great Britain, the United Kingdom, would be a modern country and embracing this new technology.

Jeesus Fucking Christ! And don't get Peed Off with me now, about the only son of the so-called stupid idea of a God. There's only two options there: 1. God (with his bastard son) doesn't exist or 2. He's a lazy fuckwit who hasn't been around to look at his so-called creation for the last 2000 years. If he had, he'd blow us all away and start again. Anyway, I'm going to tell you about the English way of providing internet...

Internet has been around for quite a while, just about 20 years, in its modern sense of the word. (The "net", a connection between two computers was first achieved around 1950-something...) The Brits are still thinking about giving internet access a go. They would like to be modern, but in the same cautious and careful way that they treat the metric system, REALLY joining EU or adopting Euro currency, they are giving the internet a bit of a trial. But not quite a fair go.

The most advanced mobile internet company - the only one brave enough to offer mobile internet as a pre-paid service - was T-mobile. Oh yeah, please! I got my sim-card and ran to my hotel. The much raved about "broadband" wasn't quite that broad, the connection was UMTS at best. Later, in another town, the fastest connection was GPRS and for those not familiar with the acronyms, it stands for the technology that I used 6 years ago with my mobile phone. The real broadband is called HSDPA and works like your normal cable connection at home. Nevermind, as long as I have internet access, I don't mind it being a bit slow. But I didn't have access. Facebook was blocked (Oh, you haven't seen my profile in Facebook?) as was any other sites that were deemed "unsuitable" in content. Aaah, the protection of the citizens from evil. (Popular in China, USA and apparently in UK...)

I asked the next person in the street, but no, I was not in China! I called customer service and got the child block off. Next: I wanted to upload pages to my friend Lauri G's website. Not possible. Access to ftp-file transfer blocked. Cannot be unblocked. But "internet access" means Internet acces, no? Oh, I can surf the web. Wow! That's really awesome, I remember the exitement - in mid-nineties. By the way, the images are loaded at minimum quality. Skype? Forget about it. That would take revenue off T-mobile, so they've blocked it. But they're quite happy to employ a million dollar marketing department, selling us Web'n'Walk mobile "internet". And in our modern consumer society, any fuckwit bastard shithead can lie their ugly ass off to you, as long as they are a registered business and do it through their marketing department. And we are supposed to run to the shops and say "wow".

No worries, the local pub came to the resque and said they have a wireless internet. Unfortunately it was provided by a UK high tech internet company. No Ftp access, no outgoing e-mail and restricted web access. What's the fucking point? Are they short of bits here? Internet is internet and having access to that is good. For a company that sells internet access, it should be an aim to put everyone online, all the time, full speed, full access. No, this company has focused all their brains into designing the service into a glossy, nice looking empty promise that sounds like internet access but leaves you wondering if there's something wrong with your computer. See? The technology is there, but the attitude is in China.

I tried again with another Wlan. I paid with Visa and set up a username and password. No connection. No response from the authentication server, you know. I called the help line, but they're only there from monday to friday, 9-5.30. This is modern internet business in UK. I must call them again on monday. (It'll be the Monday from hell for the poor bastard picking up the phone...)

I tell you what. My name is Kapitan Peedoff and I'm really fuckin peed off with the british internet service. But hey, for a nation that weighs itself in stones, you may just have to forgive them. Guys, keep working on that new technology and think about the idea of letting people have full access to it. I'll come again, in a 1000 years...
















































































































































































































Welcome to the Bottom!!

It's not that people don't understand.
The problem is they don't listen!
- Kapitan Peedoff -



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